<< 2004-01-10 | 8:04 p.m. >>
I guess no one should really know this...I mean...I barely know who is reading this, but I could care less right now. Well, I am going to be totally serious right now and I'll try not to be stupid for once.
My grandma died today. And all the while I was at work, where no tells me til one hour after i get out of work. Why must I be the last one to know every god damn thing on this planet...? Why couldn't I see her one last time?
Why did she even have to leave?
This year already is starting off to a bad start. I know you can't avoid death, with yourself, or with others. I guess I am just unlucky. I have pretty much been to a funeral or wake every year for the past two or three years. It's hard, and I really am unsure of how much more I can take.
Everything hurts right now. I am not sure if it has totally sunk in yet. Yeah, I cried, I will admit it, but...why did she go? Why didn't my dad even have the idea to tell me sooner? Why did he let me WORK while my only grandma left was dying!?
I think I need some time alone. I doubt I will be doing much for the next couple of weeks. I need some time to think and get some stuff done. So until later my lovelies...
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